he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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