Why does Corona taste like a burp?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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