i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
