i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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