We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Everything about him screamed your future.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
