I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
