I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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