I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
