Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
