yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
So much rum. So many feels.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
