I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
