You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
