If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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