I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
