I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
