Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
