I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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