it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
