I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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