I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
