I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
