I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
