All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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