i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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