My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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