Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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