My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
