Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
