I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
