hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
