Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
and she was petting her beer can
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
