Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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