I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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