i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
