...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
