I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
how drunk are you?
Several
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
