I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
