dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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