I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
