I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
