sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
