I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
