I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
