after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
