i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
