Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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