I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
false alarm, still single
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