Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
