HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He felt like a one man threesome
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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