i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
