Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
