i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Randomize
