check it out our google latitudes are spooning
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
